Forbidden

Forbidden*

I know I should run,
but not sure that I can
I think about you
wherever I am
the weekends are hard
when we can't talk or write
knowing I can't hold you
in bed late at night
I'm falling for you
and it scares me to death
I feel your touch, and your kiss
your desire, your breath
before you completely
take hold of my heart
I must turn away
and make a new start
you are with her
and I am with him
this is a time
when no one can win
it's not what I want
and may break my heart
but it will hurt less
if we agree now to part
I think that you care
as I do for you
but we're both seeing others,
so what can we do?
no strings attached,
just benefit friends
that went out the window
and now it must end
I will never forget you
we made quite a pair!
I'll look back and smile
on the times that we shared.
Good bye to you
my friend, my dear
it's hard and it hurts
and I know I'll shed tears

Betrayed

Betrayed

To be betrayed
The heart’s cut and rots
When one so loved
Turns and walks

Each wound so deep
While lovers weep
Another nick
The blood’s so slick
Down from the heart it creeps

To be betrayed
A pain so real
It cuts to the core
She no longer can feel;
Her soul and heart
From inside her depart
The wounds may never heal

To My Husband With Love

Twelve wonderful years
as husband and wife
Together fourteen
Such a fabulous life!
I know no one else
Who gave me their love
That fit like yours does
Snug as a glove...

Do you remember?

Do You Remember?

do you think about me
when I'm not there?
do you remember how it feels
to run your fingers through my hair?
do you miss my smile, my scent, my voice?
do you remember it all, or forget me by choice?

do memories flood your mind
of how things used to be?
do you dare to think ahead
is it our future that you see?
or do you dwell on regrets
and when you wished you were free?
do you think about everything?
...everything but me?

when you're silent and sullen
my instinct's to retreat
becoming scared and insecure
and sadly admit defeat
with your face, name and voice
etched on every heartbeat

did you once love me
if but for a moment?
it so would've helped
if you just would have shown it!
the residue you've left- the stabbing paranoia

- I now own it

a duet unrealized
bloomed into romance
a relationship doomed
a pas-de-deux never danced
we both ran in fear
ne'er gave love a chance
we both detached, walked away
with not so much as a glance

for years have I sought
answers to questions I thought
perhaps should be uttered, yet all were for naught
my love just for you - the emotions I fought

you moved on, I moved back
my brittle ego attacked
despite all that I lack
disillusioned you'd stay
now I wither away
watching my heart fray

ode to you, my past love,
my kind, gentle white dove
my mind to my heart a stern gentle shove...

do you ever think of me
when I'm not there?
the soft scent and feel
of my shimmering hair?
do you smile and remember
or do you no longer care?

Abyss

Abyss

I'm failing in strength
and suddenly falling
what I hear is my voice
to God it is calling
haunting, enchanted
a melody sweet
the notes shatter in silence
as they fall at my feet
anxiety is my sea
inside which I'm drowning
I can't smile or breathe
while my lips are frowning
diamonds & crystals
from my eyes are my tears
beautiful but hard
I can't shatter my fears
holding my breath
I sink down oh so deep
I lie on the bottom
and continue to weep
liquid red rubies
try to pour from my veins
'tis Nemesis I become
I must grab hold of the reigns
I claw at the darkness
once again it's my tomb
I'm determined to reject
anger, heartache and gloom
my mind's eye is now quiet
it opens and sees
the shimmering light
feels the comforting breeze
though I'm weary & weak
I labor to stand
survival is bleak
but I hold out my hand
I grasp a rope dangling
its splinters I feel
the rope is a chain

reinforced now by steel
with confidence and love
determined i rise
weightless and free
to heaven my soul flies